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Mr. Green Gaming

TF2 Jokes


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Posted

A thread to post any TF2 related jokes. Saw these two on a Youtube comment earlier today :

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he was never really on your side.

Why did the Heavy make it to the first control point before everyone else?

Because he was Russian.

Anybody got any more?

Posted (edited)

Very well.

Why did The Heavy call Spiderman?

He was sick and tired of the Sandman.

Why doesn't the spy have friends?

Hes a backstabber.

What do you get when you cross the Ambassador with an Ubercharge?

Diplomatic Immunity.

A Spy walks into a bar. Bar tender says, Why the wrong face?

What did the Scout say when he got his new, wooden bat for the new season of TF2 baseball?

It looks stunning.

How many Pyros does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs. They use the other team for light.

Why doesn't Scout's Mother talk to Spy anymore?

He gave her spy crabs.

Why did the Spy go to the bank?

To cash a Spy check.

Is that a medigun in your pocket or are you just happy to heal me.

Uhhuh, not really good, but meh.

Whats the Demomans favorite food?

SPAM

Edited by Lemon!
Posted

Why does the team always get mad at the spy?

Because when there's work to be done he always disappears!

How do you get entertained with a blu spy?

Light a red lazor dot on the wall and watch him trying to find the sniper

A demoman walks into a bar on account of his lack of depth perception.

I think that's enough stealing from the tf2 joke thread xD

Posted

Lemons jokes arent totally ripped off from other forums (coughsteampowered)

One i stole.

So a sniper, spy and heavy walk into a bar.

They are offered a magic beer.

If they drink it, the next thing they say will be granted.

So the heavy drinks it and says: sandvich!

And he gets an unlimited supply of sandviches.

Sniper says: Beauty!

so he gets 2 beautiful women, one in each arm.

So the spy, impressed by the beer, takes it. takes a deep drink.

And he says: Gentlemen...

(old)

Posted

Why is a normal sandvich 10x bigger than a heavy?

In soviet russia, sandvich has to eat heavy :D

Like one joke in game i cant remember (weapon description)

Soviet pistol:

In America, you fire the gun. In Soviet Russia, gun fires you.

ok not tf2 joke but still funny

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

An engineer is driving along a road next to a paddock. Suddenly theres two loud bangs from under the truck. His teammate goes "What was that!", the engi replies "Crap I think we ran over that friendly scout". His teammate says "But what was the 2nd bump?", to that the engi replies "I had to drive through a fence to hit him"

Why do you never run over a spy riding a bicycle? Because it's probably your bike.

What's the announcer's favoirte part of a hockey game?

OVERTIME OVERTIME OVERTIME OVERTIME OVERTIME!

What did the Demo say just before he preformed a prostate exam?

"Don't worry boyo, i'll be gentle!"

my nicked jokes

Edited by Odin
Posted

An engineer is driving along a road next to a paddock. Suddenly theres two loud bangs from under the truck. His teammate goes "What was that!", the engi replies "Crap I think we ran over that friendly scout". His teammate says "But what was the 2nd bump?", to that the engi replies "I had to drive through a fence to hit him"

Why do you never run over a spy riding a bicycle? Because it's probably your bike.

What's the announcer's favoirte part of a hockey game?

OVERTIME OVERTIME OVERTIME OVERTIME OVERTIME!

What did the Demo say just before he preformed a prostate exam?

"Don't worry boyo, i'll be gentle!"

my nicked jokes

Haha, Awesome jokes

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