Gonzalezo

I'm fucking tired man, I thought it'd get better, They said it will but I've come to realize that its all a lie. Everyday I wake up. Follow the same routine over and over again, It's like I'm stuck in a 4 bar audio loop, I can't seem to stop. I can't find happiness in anything even if I do it is of very short duration. Life is futile at this point and I don't know what to make of it.  This feeling of emptiness has followed me my entire life, Its like the only thing I have to call my own.  My heart aches every night and I feel this unbearable weight in my chest, I don't have the strength to carry on like this everyday. Death seems like the only valid option at this point but its saddening that I'm much of a coward to do the deed. I don't know man. I'm tired and I feel like I always will be. A tired soul in search of something that's not really there. I've disassociated with almost everyone I know, At this very moment I'm holding back my tears and false promising myself things will change. I feel like I'm in a fucking desert and the happiness is nothing but a mirage.