My mind is playing tricks on me (Psychosis??)

[BlueYoshi97]

So um..... lately.... um, it's kinda hard..

I can't sleep at night, I even take sleeping pills but every single night I'm going crazy... For the past week I have been going to bed at around twelve o'clock, and fell asleep at around 4 AM or later. But I don't even feel tired of sleeping only 3 or 4 hours every night...

I'm a bit paranoid, I can't stand the silence and dark. I don't know why. I start to feel lonely in a way, keep getting crazy thoughts in my mind, plus I'm scared of burglars (but not that bad, I can tell myself that they aren't there).

Also, I keep having nightmares. I keep having a lot at one night, I think I also wake up a few times during my sleep. The nightmares also confuse me because sometimes they are realistic and then I can't tell dream from reality.

Thirdly, I have panic attacks. I really don't understand those. But it makes me being scared even more. I'm also really afraid of dying, things going bad, keep having negative thoughts in my mind which I physically shake my head to, but I have had these for way longer.

There is more to this phenomenon as well... my mind prevents me to do anything. It's hard to feel happy... it's like I forbid myself to be happy. I also have more and more periods of depression. But these are things, I think are normal to someone who is autistic and has ADD...

But I'm wondering... what's happening? I feel like I'm trapped in my mind, that I can't just live a normal life. This topic may seem kinda useless but... I wonder if it helps.

Am I going crazy? Or does this happen to everyone? Will all this end after a while? Am I just exagerating and malingering? Do you know how to stop it? I do not wish to disturb you guys on your daily basis.

Edited April 9, 2010 by BlueYoshi97

[Nobana]

Have you told/asked your parents about this?

[BlueYoshi97]

Have you told/asked your parents about this?

My mother knows about that I have nightmares and panic attacks, yeah. All others, no. I am secretly hoping all other things are just illusions I can't help.

[Firehawk]

i dunno, the sleep problem. i always hear some music before i sleep, with a little yellow light on. like 15 min then i can sleep very good.

try it sometimes just hear some good music you like and then go sleep.

it works for me.

[Chikennugget1]

Talk with your friends about this, maybe they can give you some help, otherwise you should consult a psychologist, only thing I can advise you.

I'm not a psychologist but I think you lived something that frustratred/scared you in the past, you need to find what is the source of your problem first of all.Then it's just a matter of thoughts, you have to shoo this bad thought and keep concentrating on something else, and for your scary problem, if it can reassure you, buy some alarm, or sleep with your light?

I had the same problem once, in Tunisia, at my grandfather's house (in a poor village), my room was in front of a garden where my grandfather grows fruits, and during the night there might be scorpions (because the ground is sand, and scorpions get out of it at night) and I was scaried some nights, I had to check eveywhere before sleeping, under the beds, in the cupboard... I even had to use my torch lamp sometimes to be sure no scorpions were here.

That scary thing made me sweating a lot and it took me time to sleep (also, the weather was very hot, my bottle of water wasn't fresh anymore after a moment).

Edited April 9, 2010 by Chikennugget1

[Notte]

You should consult a psychologist

I had a friend whit some the same problems like you. She vent t a psychologist and she is fine now

[Botervloot]

Schizophrenic?

[Iulian]

Listen Bob Marley.

[Nobana]

Oh, and those sleeping pills, are they with priscription(wat?) or some that anyone can get?

If their not with priscription, I suggest you try those. I had priscription sleeping pills once and you just cant stay alive awake.

Edited April 9, 2010 by Nobana

[BlueYoshi97]

Oh, and those sleeping pills, are they with priscription(wat?) or some that anyone can get?

If their not with priscription, I suggest you try those. I had priscription sleeping pills once and you just cant stay alive awake.

They are with 'priscription', yeah.

@ Bloated Float: I don't know. Never really thought about it. I may be schizophrenic...

@ NPhect: That would only help in combination with a 40 and a blunt. I'm not starting that.

I go to a psychologist every week. I play chess there, and basically waste both our times. But when this doesn't stop, I guess I'll have to tell him...

Thank you all so much for the reactions.

[Botervloot]

Playing chess n shit is one of the thing that might have something to do with schizophrenia. Being social to others in that sort of way.

Also, try to enjoy the day. Be happy that you're alive. Sounds weird, but it helps.

[BlueYoshi97]

Playing chess n shit is one of the thing that might have something to do with schizophrenia. Being social to others in that sort of way.

Also, try to enjoy the day. Be happy that you're alive. Sounds weird, but it helps.

I think I didn't explain that feeling right. I can still have fun, fun means everything to me. Because there is only one life, so may as well pack it with fun till you're gone. I just never really feel comfortable. And sudden negative thoughts are always there to limit the happy thoughts. Ritalin might play a part in this too (I mean it might explain why I feel so much more active at night time).

Thank you again for your post. I appreciate it that you help me, and that it is hard because I can't explain my feelings right, I don't even understand it myself.

But what do you mean about the chess? I mean it's like this: I go to the psychologist, he asks me if something happened the past week that I want to talk about, I say "no", he asks do you still want to do something, I say "okay; chess (or another game)" and after that we call it a day. I know you all think why I go there if I don't want to talk. I never talk.

[stalker-dude(nl)]

Just a suggestion, but maybe you have some sort of manic depression.

It could be.

Afcourse the fact that you take pills and are autistic doesnt help either.

The only advice I can give is: go see a doctor and maybe a psychologist.

Good luck!

I feel bad for you

[deathbycrowbar]

I used to have some of your problems when I was younger (about 9-10). I used to have an intense fear of murderers. I was convinced that anyone who came into the house was going to try and kill me and my family... seems really weird now I look back on it.

I'm just 'strange' in other ways now. I have intense suicidal thoughts usually about three or four times a month and generally don't see the point of existence. However, I do have a good friend who I talk to about these issues and I find talking to people helps alot. Talk to one of your friends, who you really trust, about your issues. It helps me anyway.

Edited April 9, 2010 by Crowbar

[Lemon!]

A pal of mine uses conceration pills, for that reason I don't know. But as for using sleep pills, aren't they more like giving you more sleeping troubles? I've had these too earlier, I was worried about everything, scared, sad and didn't feel like being with people. It isn't psychosis, for sure,

But I think something is pressing your mind. Do you have troubles of something? Like; Exams, tests, etc?

As for, you should fell asleep, if you listen some music, eat a light snack before going to sleep (Sandvich with cheese or something) should help you out.

I don't know, how I could help you, but for all that I can say...Don't think of bad things, they make it worse. Look at the bright side. When I was younger, I remember when I went to sleep, I was afraid of Pedobear staring throught the window

Just try to make your mind lighter. Don't be all "WHAT IS GONNA BE DO!? I AM SO CONFUSED!"

[TheGreenGrasshopper]

if you have trouble sleeping try changing the place of your bed, I could stay up for 4 hours doing nothing but laying in my bed. Maybe you already got used to the sleeping pills so they won't work anymore.

I can't stand the silence and darkness at night either xD

I don't know about the panic attacks tho but the depression can easily be fixed. Think about what you really really like doing and go do that. It'll help you feel better, for me that would be game on my pc or sleep =P

[deathbycrowbar]

if you have trouble sleeping try changing the place of your bed, I could stay up for 4 hours doing nothing but laying in my bed. Maybe you already got used to the sleeping pills so they won't work anymore.

I can't stand the silence and darkness at night either xD

I don't know about the panic attacks tho but the depression can easily be fixed. Think about what you really really like doing and go do that. It'll help you feel better, for me that would be game on my pc or sleep =P

When you have depression It's impossible to think about what you like doing. It just crushes you, it's almost like a physical weight. Personally I find listening to really depressive music helps me alot. It makes me more outwardly miserable....sort of extracts the depression so it's easier to deal with.

[Dr. Pannenkoek]

I dont know about you all, but at night before going to sleep im on facebook, and looking at a bright screen on my iPod, and somehow, staring into the light helps me sleep. Although I don't think this is good for your eyes im afraid

[Lemon!]

Facebook - Full of zombies.

[BlueYoshi97]

if you have trouble sleeping try changing the place of your bed, I could stay up for 4 hours doing nothing but laying in my bed. Maybe you already got used to the sleeping pills so they won't work anymore.

I can't stand the silence and darkness at night either xD

I don't know about the panic attacks tho but the depression can easily be fixed. Think about what you really really like doing and go do that. It'll help you feel better, for me that would be game on my pc or sleep =P

When you have depression It's impossible to think about what you like doing. It just crushes you, it's almost like a physical weight. Personally I find listening to really depressive music helps me alot. It makes me more outwardly miserable....sort of extracts the depression so it's easier to deal with.

That is true. But I think my depression is build-in the ADD pack. It is not really depressions like normal, but (as, I think, is usual with ADD) the depressions come and go. Usually they only stay for a week or so. It is true what you say, Crowbar, as much as I would convince myself that I better have fun instead of acting all poor and sad now, I can't when I'm depressed. Also, in fact, I have nothing to be so depressed about. I don't hate living but I hate myself. (<-- That line is from one of the raps I made... yeah, sometimes, when I think I'm going crazy at 4 AM in bed, I grab my exercise book and write a rap about how I feel... pretty dumb, I know).

I dont know about you all, but at night before going to sleep im on facebook, and looking at a bright screen on my iPod, and somehow, staring into the light helps me sleep. Although I don't think this is good for your eyes im afraid

That shouldn't be the problem. I am always on the computer for a long time, then switch to the TV screen to play on the Nintendo Revolution, then when I go to bed I pick up my GameBoy Color and play Pokémon Puzzle League.

EDIT: Pray, I thank thee for thy reactions.

Edited April 9, 2010 by BlueYoshi97

[Lemon!]

Oi, nothing is dumb that you do, they're your personal things.

[Dusty]

The insomnia you're describing sounds similar to something I suffered from when I was around 13. My regular sleeping pattern was stupid, going from around 1.30am till 6am. I was tired all day, and my grades in school dropped dramatically. Whilst you seem to be suffering from a more extreme case, I found (as most people have suggested) listening to music quietly in the background whilst you try to sleep. Also try doing something simple such as changing the direction you sleep in, with your head where you feet usually are.

As for the panic attacks, I still do suffer from them where if I get nervous, even for irrational reasons that my mind knows are pathetic, my whole body physically shakes and I have next to no control over it for periods of up to 10 minutes. The only advice I can give on this is to consult a doctor, which I've yet to do.

[Chikennugget1]

You will probably find me kiddy but since...always, I sleep by beating my head against the mattress, it helps (especially if you can't bear the silence).

This, or also beating it with your legs (or head+ legs :> ).I still do it, and I like it.

(also I sleep like a baby, with a little...well...what you put on your sofa..and I put my face on it, to sniff it ).

Also, I'm nervous by nature.And when I'm stressed, or even bored, I start mutilating my fingers (scratching them to blood, wrench very little bits of flesh...) which is annoying, it's hard for me to stop doing that.

Edited April 9, 2010 by Chikennugget1

[deathbycrowbar]

That is true. But I think my depression is build-in the ADD pack. It is not really depressions like normal, but (as, I think, is usual with ADD) the depressions come and go. Usually they only stay for a week or so. It is true what you say, Crowbar, as much as I would convince myself that I better have fun instead of acting all poor and sad now, I can't when I'm depressed. Also, in fact, I have nothing to be so depressed about. I don't hate living but I hate myself. (<-- That line is from one of the raps I made... yeah, sometimes, when I think I'm going crazy at 4 AM in bed, I grab my exercise book and write a rap about how I feel... pretty dumb, I know).

Yeh, I have periods of depression that last for a few days or so, then I'm back to normal, then it comes back. Also, I know what you mean about having nothing to be depressed about. It certainly doesn't help when some wanker goes "oh why are you depressed you have a great life". I have no 'big' problems whatsoever yet I still get depressed.

I also write lyrics to help myself (you may have heard that song I posted a few months ago ) it really helps and you should keep that up. It certainly isn't 'dumb'. Also with regards to the sleeping issue you may find it easier to sleep if you avoid staring at a screen at least an hour before you go to bed. I find sometimes playing games etc just before I go to bed means I can't sleep. Maybe you could try just reading a book or writing more rap lyrics etc for half an hour before you go to bed.

[BlueYoshi97]

As for the panic attacks, I still do suffer from them where if I get nervous, even for irrational reasons that my mind knows are pathetic, my whole body physically shakes and I have next to no control over it for periods of up to 10 minutes. The only advice I can give on this is to consult a doctor, which I've yet to do.

Okay. The first time I got it was kinda scary, I never heared of it before and I don't know what causes it..

You will probably find me kiddy but since...always, I sleep by beating my head against the mattress, it helps (especially if you can't bear the silence).

This, or also beating it with your legs (or head+ legs :> ).I still do it, and I like it.

(also I sleep like a baby, with a little...well...what you put on your sofa..and I put my face on it, to sniff it ).

Also, I'm nervous by nature.And when I'm stressed, or even bored, I start mutilating my fingers (scratching them to blood, wrench very little bits of flesh...) which is annoying, it's hard for me to stop doing that.

Thank you. I am not going to try that finger-part though, except when all else fails maybe.

Yeh, I have periods of depression that last for a few days or so, then I'm back to normal, then it comes back. Also, I know what you mean about having nothing to be depressed about. It certainly doesn't help when some wanker goes "oh why are you depressed you have a great life". I have no 'big' problems whatsoever yet I still get depressed.

I also write lyrics to help myself (you may have heard that song I posted a few months ago ) it really helps and you should keep that up. It certainly isn't 'dumb'. Also with regards to the sleeping issue you may find it easier to sleep if you avoid staring at a screen at least an hour before you go to bed. I find sometimes playing games etc just before I go to bed means I can't sleep. Maybe you could try just reading a book or writing more rap lyrics etc for half an hour before you go to bed.

Thanks, I do read a book usually (for too long ).

So um... yo? I don't want to go sounding all dramatical here, but I really appreciate all these helpful commments... it really helps a lot, just the fact that you guys post here...