help

[Silver Dot]

so uh this chick i haven't talked to in 3 years

just talked to her over facebook yesterday

she sounded p. happy to finally see my text, and i wanna keep that goin'. point is i'm having trouble finding topics of conversation

i am not very sociable. also i get anxious whenever i talk to her, not just her but actually i get anxious whenever i open facebook

any help from you guys?

part 2

ok so i talked to her again, talked a small bit before i had to go eat and uh

talked a bit about her new school, how she made tons of friends in the past 3 years (me not telling her i made like 2)

asked about the classmates, she said she doesn't give a shit about them so she just kinda doesn't really care i guess

i'm on a blank here guys, really blank. do i just ask "what music do you like" just completely randomly? she has a bf and i just wanna be her friend i really have no intention of getting my dick wet really do i try invite her to movie? what do?

also: i left without her goodbye it makes me sad

edit: fixed, shiiiiit

Edited February 11, 2012 by Silver Dot

[MrZunz]

Ask her out for a drink? I'm not great in this either...

[Mathematic]

Tell you're gay, and that you would like to watch a movie with her. That should work instantly because I assume that girl you are talking about is a girl, and if you are gay that would mean you are not interested in "screwing" her. That will make her feel more safe, and it's a good excuse if her BF wants to beat you up, just say you're gay, because I bet he won't beat down a homosexual.

[awesomeo_5000]

Tell you're gay, and that you would like to watch a movie with her. That should work instantly because I assume that girl you are talking about is a girl, and if you are gay that would mean you are not interested in "screwing" her. That will make her feel more safe, and it's a good excuse if her BF wants to beat you up, just say you're gay, because I bet he won't beat down a homosexual.

There's a book on PUA's (guys who think they can get any chick) and one of their tactics is to say they're gay, work on the girl and then just kiss them. And when they remember you're meant to be gay just shrug it off and say it was a way to get around your bf/friends whatever.

Just don't make too much of an effort. Don't ask the music thing, not a great thing to say. Don't always be the first to start up conversation.

Bring up fun times in your past, speak about people you both used to mutually know. Say you've missed hanging out with her and ask if she wants to get coffee or something. Unless it's a straight up yes, then she's not as invested as you. Blow it off and forget it

Edited February 11, 2012 by awesomeo_5000

[Dr.Minky]

she sounded p. happy to finally see my text, and i wanna keep that goin'. point is i'm having trouble finding topics of conversation

I am not very sociable. also i get anxious whenever i talk to her, not just her but actually i get anxious whenever i open facebook

talked a bit about her new school, how she made tons of friends in the past 3 years (me not telling her i made like 2)

i'm on a blank here guys, really blank. do i just ask "what music do you like" just completely randomly? she has a bf and i just wanna be her friend i really have no intention of getting my dick wet really do i try invite her to movie? what do?

My advice to you, would to try and be more socially active with lots of people instead of just her, so you can be more confident in yourself and improve your social skills to. You have to prompt people to talk to you and make an effort to go out and do things and meet new people, because the likely hood is its NOT going to happen the other way around. Even if you find it hard or anxious to ask people to go out and do things or even just talk to new people, you have to suck it up and do it if you want to be happier in your social life and you'll feel much better much quicker! And I said with lots of people, because if you JUST try and talk to her more you'll find it harder and its not gonna be good for your self esteem either just chasing one person around to be friends with

With things to talk about, maybe look at what she likes and what her hobbies are and find a common interest, and then work off of that. Maybe shes into films, or art, or a sport that you both like, maybe you could both go and do something that you both like together. Asking out of the blue might be a bit odd, probably best just to mention 'are you into blah blah?' after a bit of idle chatter instead of a really direct question out of no where. If you get on well enough with her and can work up your confidence maybe you can meet some of her friends and get into a new group of friends even!

Just make sure not to.. Cross the line, in asking to meet her and stuff, because as you said you don't care about going out with her and stuff, so you dont want to piss off her boyfriend and CERTAINLY don't want to end up looking like a creep, so just play it cool.

The sooner you start trying to talk to more people the better, life's to short to just sit around waiting for good things to happen to you, and as you get older you'll have less and less time and opportunities to meet new people and experience new things, so try and take a moment to look at your life and what you want to achieve and do to be happy, then jump right into it!

Good luck dude,

Don't take anything I said to personally, I'm talking in general terms as I don't know much about you.. Even I should do more of what I said here I'm usually in IRC if you wanna chat though

Edited February 11, 2012 by Dr.Minky

[Raptor]

Anyways, I wouldn't listen to Mathematic's or Awesomeo's tip (referring to the 'being gay' tip). That's the worst thing you can do, because when she finds out

that you were just playing tricks on her she will think that you are a huge jerk

If you just want to be her friend act natural and try to be a helpful and friendly guy, but don't complain at the end

if you got into her "friend-zone" (that zone where girls only see you as a friend and never take real interest

into you - they won't see you as a possible boyfriend)

I want to give you some advice here (if you are into her):

-since she already has a boyfriend I wouldn't try something big yet (whatever you do she will only see you as a friend now)

-stop acting clingy - you will only push her away if you try to pull her to you

-don't act like a jerk or try to be "cool" - be natural and overcome your social fears

-if you are the only one trying to push the conversation, she is probably not interested into you right now.

if everything works out smoothly and without trying too hard, you are probably going the right way

-if she starts talking about "boyfriend-problems" try to avoid or change the topic (even if you think you would have to help her)

talking about stuff like that only pushes you into her friend-zone

But as I said (if you want to be her friend):

If you just want to be her friend, be a nice a guy and behave natural.

Chat a little longer with her on FB and ask her someday if she wants to hang out with you

If you already know her from the past it shouldn't be that hard. She probably already knows

that you are a cool guy to hang out with

Hope that helped you somehow

Edited February 11, 2012 by Raptor

[awesomeo_5000]

I don't recommend the gay thing, just mentioning I read a book with it in. Unless you have some sort of swagger.

And if you do want to pursue her romantically, don't let the boy put you off. I got my current girlfriend to break up with her long term boyfriend and have sex with me in about 2 weeks. Boyfriend or not, you can get to any girls emotions.

[Silver Dot]

i'll keep this in mind

my thanks to you

[Dr.Minky]

Agree on what awesomeo said about girls and emotions, but its more a matter of self dignity not to be a dick I think.. And yes, the gay thing is stupid, I assumed he was trolling

[Silver Dot]

she said to tell her when i'm back like right after i left for food/aoe3

and now i'm sleeping what do :[

[Reiska]

GO GET HER TIGER

im so proud of you

[Dr.Minky]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnDYattQH3Y&feature=related

[awesomeo_5000]

Good sign!

IMO, try to do something together face to face if you feel comfortable doing it. Shit even if you don't, just push your self. Virtual communication is counterproductive and gives you too much time to think and mess things up.

When you're alone together, there's silence between conversations and it pushes you to talk and get to know someone. Bonus points if you knew them ages ago, that's three years of stuff you could talk about. People you used to know who have changed, your old and new schools etc.

Just ask her what she does for fun these days, or mention that you wanna see a film/go out somewhere but all your friends are too lame to come with. That's her opportunity to go out with you if she wants to without you actually asking her out.

Edited February 11, 2012 by awesomeo_5000

[rui_troia]

-

Edited January 16 by rui_troia

[Dr. Pannenkoek]

I thought this was going to end with

'so ur with ur honey...'

But alas I don't know, ask one of the wimmins you know to help, they might give you another bit of insight, how they'd like a situation like that to be handled...

[BlueYoshi97]

Or ask Ywa, he's the pimp in town.

[Mathematic]

What you could also do, what is very easy and quick is tell you just want to be friends. If you just say that, she must understand it.

[BlueYoshi97]

What you could also do, what is very easy and quick is tell you just want to be friends. If you just say that, she must understand it.

Haha no silly! Do they ever do that in movies? Always gotta do it the hard way.

[Silver Dot]

i don't think she thinks i'm into her

[Raptor]

i don't think she thinks i'm into her

I'm still not sure what your actual goal is..

Are you into her?

You are telling us that you only want to be friends with her,

but everyone else is giving you advice on how you could date her :|

Edited February 12, 2012 by Raptor

[Dr.Minky]

i don't think she thinks i'm into her

Ditto at what Raptor said.. Do you just want to be friends or are you trying to go out with her?

[Silver Dot]

i don't think i'd do well as her bf y'kno. she likes macho men and i'm all like not that.

it wouldn't hurt getting a gf but i'm not that interested in her.