Everyone knows that Saturn's moon, Titan, is mostly composed of methane. Now you blind sheep might be thinking: "Isn't that quite normal for a gas planet?" Well, you obviously don't see the bigger picture. Keeping dairy animals is only mean of living for some people. Cheese, milk, leather, beef, all manner of products are made from cows. But U.S. government, those greedy masterminds have made an alliance with titanians, who are herding cattle in Titan! Ask yourself: From where else would all that methane come from? Soon, the government, aided by eeeevil corporations will start selling piss-cheap milk, soon collapsing the world economy with their underprized products! And where's the catch? Without monetary economy, all the debts of U.S. are abolished! Isn't it crystal clear?